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Apr 10 / Mr. Science

Sex Mysteries

Mysteries of SEX Unraveled is the new tagline for my not-so-old website: Sex Trivia 101. Just don’t get me started on my “Search Engine Optimization” of this phrase–which is far more painful than any sexually transmitted infection!

Mysteries of SEX Unraveled is also the new subtitle for my book in progress: Sperm Have Brains? and I like how it defines that there are still mysteries about sex to answer. But what about all those people who have said to me: “Don’t adults already know everything about sex?” They could be right. Then again, I think there are a few mysteries left out there worth discussing.

Consider the openendedness of these answers to some “simple” sex questions:

So here’s a toast to those know-it-alls…sometimes ignorance is bliss! (While other times ignorance just makes for a lousy lover.)

-Mr. Science


Mar 28 / Mr. Science

Funny Medical Terms

There are plenty of outstanding medical doctors but there are also a few jerky ones who use medical terminology to show off. Sure, scientists use Latin to reduce confusion between different languages but there is little need for this in a doctor’s office. To most of us, a brilliant medical doctor who uses the funny term “eructation” instead of “burp” sounds like they are egotistically reliving their spelling-bee glory-days.

So what is the purpose of all these funny medical terms anyway? Perhaps they help us (as the patients) believe that we are getting our money’s worth during our 3 minutes/$213 doctor’s exam. Yeah, “tumescent” chance!

Medical Mumbo-Jumbo
Pair funny medical terms with their synonyms & maybe you too can make $71/minute.
Medical Jargon Matching:
1. Tumescent:

2. Myocardial infarction:

3. Erectile dysfunction:

4. Cicatrice:

5. Mettelschmerz:


Mar 18 / Mr. Science

Lower Left Testicle vs. Super-Testy

Male fact: The majority of men have a left testicle that hangs lower than their right. Some reports say the percentage of men having a lower left testicle is 60/40, others say 80/20. Whatever the statistics, isn’t it a bit odd that a man’s left nut usually droops lower than his right? Then again, I guess it’s no different than most of us being right-handed.

Note: Urban Dictionary has this definition for “left testicle“: “The testicle that is always slacking off while the right one does the work.”  It has even been reported that a man’s left nut is usually smaller than the right…poor little left testicle.

Perhaps my next blog should include the supernatural abilities of the larger and higher ranking right testicle to defy the laws of gravity, or maybe a new super-hero?  Da-dah-da-dut–da-daaa…Super-Testy to the rescue!

-Mr. Science


Mar 9 / Mr. Science

Male Shrinkage?

What is male shrinkage?

Male shrinkage refers to the classic Seinfeld episode when George Costanza was seen naked by Jerry’s girlfriend after George swam in a cold pool. It is a male fact that cold temperatures cause shrinkage because, as the genitals get cold, they contract towards the body to retain heat. Poor George…maybe he should visit a shrink.

Male Shrinkage Clip (3 min 48 sec)

-Mr. Science


Mar 3 / Mr. Science

Sexy Species

Sexy species: Why should we care about funny animal names?

We are all members of the same sexy species, but accepting our own personal differences is extremely healthy. Given the importance of appreciating our individuality, it is sad that discussing sex is so taboo. Sure some individuals make sexy jokes, but the majority of people rarely talk about human sexuality even with their sexual partner. How can we appreciate our own sexuality–or someone else’s for that matter–when we can’t comfortably discuss the topic? Here are some funny animal names to break the ice.

Sexy Species (fun conversation starters):

  • Horny toads (also called horned toads)
  • Red footed boobies (a bird and one of six sexy species of booby)
  • Helmeted Hornbills (What exactly does he do with that horny bill anyway?)
  • Slippery dicks (a not-so-sexy species of fish)
  • Banana slugs (also the Mascot at UC Santa Cruz)
  • Tufted titmice (actually not a mouse but a sexy species of songbird)
  • Dik-diks (a small antelope species)
  • The Great Tit (another bird)
  • Andean Cock-of-the-Rock (How come bird species get all the sexiest names!)
  • Sexy anenome shrimp (available at some pet stores)
  • Red Breasted Sapsuckers (as if having a red breast wasn’t bad enough for this poor species…)
  • Blue footed boobies (almost my favorite boobies)

Booby Feet & Eggs--Galapagos 2009

-Mr. Science


When I was eight years old my father told me about the birds and the bees. The next day a bee stung me and for seven months I thought I was pregnant. –Barbara George

Feb 24 / Mr. Science

Penis & Vagina Searches

When I say “penis and vagina searches”, I am talking about Googling–not ogling–these anatomical organs. In the last few days, I spent a lot of time redesigning my website to include more content and searchable phrases like “sex trivia” and “sexual facts.” I also utilized a program that details the monthly frequency of various Googled phrases–which was fascinating, but also a bit disconcerting.


Search Engine Facts:The most Googled phrases that included the words “penis” or “vagina”…

#1 “the penis” & “the vagina” (A tie, except that “the penis” was searched more than twice as much.)

#2 “big penis” & “vagina video” (We certainly live in a size and technology obsessed world!)

#3 “small penis” & “vagina pictures” (Do I see some trends developing?)

#4 “average penis” & “vagina pics” (Poor average penis, he must feel so very plain at #4.)

#5 “penis pump” & “mc vagina” (I doubt the rapper “MC Vagina” would like being tied to a penis pump.)


Final thought: Porn-pimping websites and penis-pumping spammers aren’t nearly as dumb as I thought they were…

Feb 17 / Mr. Science

Lightning & Sex Induced Heart Attacks

Upon researching odd ways people die, including sex induced heart attacks, I came upon the following web quote: “The National Weather Service publication Storm Data recorded a total of 449 deaths from lightning strikes between 1998 and 2008. According to the National Weather Service, lightning causes an average of 62 deaths in the United States each year.”

Now I’m no statistical genius, but my ten-year-old could tell you that 11 years of data and 449 deaths does not average out to 62 deaths per year!  This is just one example of how “science” on the web is misreported.

Web-published information about human sexuality is often wrong to the point of absurdity. For instance, many websites state that the reason men get morning erections is because they have to pee. Let me set the record straight–guys do NOT get erections from having to urinate. If men did, they would spend a lot more money on beer and billions less on Viagra.

Sex Fact: Nearly 1% of non-fatal heart attacks were triggered from sexual activity (Meuller, 1996). The United States is home to approximately 460,000 fatal heart attacks per year (Stoppler, 2008), so it is likely that at least 4,000 Americans die every year from a sex-induced heart attack–or 100 times more than those that die from lightning!