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Feb 1 / Doug Goncz CPS

Spirituality and Sexuality

Dear World,

Religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one and it’s fine to be proud of it, but please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around… and PLEASE don’t try to shove it down my child’s throat.

Sincerely, tired of hearing your religious guff

I laughed when a friend shared the above quote. If religion is like a penis, then spirituality is like…an orgasm? Well, probably. Orgasm is the oldest route to ecstasy. I’ve read some brain science about that but I can’t call it up and when I search for “orgasm ecstasy brain” I find little of use.

I do have a reference for a relevant tidbit, though. In an AASECT forum, one presenter explained that sexual function is an authentic representation of a person’s total condition of arousal, emotion, and more.

Unlike talk therapy, in which the reasons for starting a new behavior (like flying on an airplane despite a phobia) or ending one might be explored and a resolution reached, leading to new behavior, one CANNOT will a new sexuality on oneself. It might come with exploration of new environments, positions, experience, or partners, but we don’t get to pick what turns us on—only whether we stick around (or go looking) to get turned on.

I admit I write from a Cathoholic perspective of a certain balance between freedom and responsibility but I don’t think I’m bound by it. If we continue the analogy between spirituality and orgasm, we might think that the continued pursuit of spirituality, despite difficulty, is like the continued pursuit of orgasm, again, despite difficulty. Such persistence requires faith in something, whether is in one’s ability to “get there”, in the value of the means, or in the ends. And faith is the basis of religion.

Unfortunately, dogma makes religion land awry. And so does mis- or dis- information (or education) make sexuality land awry.

“You’ll grow hair on your palms!”

“You can’t get pregnant the first time!”

“If she was drinking, and didn’t object, then Itaintrape.”


We don’t get to say “Bullshit” in church, do we?

I am convinced that—occasionally—we should! Just as we should—occasionally, meaning when appropriate—shout out “Bullshit” when we are being given mis- or dis- information on sexuality. It’s only an opinion. We should be free to express our opinion.

Take note that “You’re full of it!” is not the same. It’s an accusation and slander. It’s confrontational. It just doesn’t work.

I do have faith in sexuality. And I do have faith that, as a world, and as a community, as we communicate and learn about one another, we will move toward some kind of planetary orgasm, after which two things are likely:

1) We’ll be rather drowsy and in need of some kind of nap.
2) We’ll feel quietly connected to one another.

Doug Goncz, CPS
Alexandria, VA


Leave a comment
  1. Mr. Science / Feb 1 2012

    Welcome Doug! Thanks for joining our team of sperm brains, we are lucky to have you!

    I’ll try not to call “BS” on your posts too often, despite being given the green light on your first one! ;)

  2. Doug Goncz CPS / Feb 2 2012

    @Mr Science, “on” or “in”. I certainly hope the latter. If not, then the Board is behind me, fingers on the Mute button, and I am therefore anxious. Ooh, anxiety. Like a cocktail party. But seriously, was there anything objectionable there?

    • Mr. Science / Feb 3 2012

      Definitely not “on” your posts, that wouldn’t be very nice at all! Thanks for the very important grammatical correction…

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