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Feb 2 / Mr. Science

Ten Sexy Ways to Tell It’s Spring

It’s groundhog’s day. But does a groundhog really know if spring is here?

Happy Groundhog's Day!

So what are some more effective ways to tell it’s spring?

Well, there are a lot of ways to tell that spring is here, and lucky for you…most of them have to do with sex. So, without further delay, here’s my top ten list of sexy ways you can tell it’s spring:

#10. The college students start dressing like spring break is ALREADY here.

#9. Crocuses start popping UP, signaling their reproductive readiness!

#8. The awful black/red V-day lingerie gives way to SLIGHTLY better pastels.

#7. Our sex survey gets more and more survey submissions every day.

#6. The importance of real sex education for teens makes the news/blog circuit, for ONE whole week.

#5. The spring peepers fire up their mating call—sounding more like a heavenly orgy, than the itty-bitty amphibian that they are.

#4. Spring fitness catalogs arrive in the mail, showcasing the “clothes” inside.

#3. Caucasians avoid posting their pasty bodies on Facebook, for fear of blinding their friends.

#2. The sun finally starts feeling warm again, eliciting our DESIRE to join those scantily clad college students.

#1. The local hummingbirds (“hummers” as my college biology professor so foolishly called them) pursue each other in sexually frustrated, chaotic zigzags, paying little attention to the passersby (me!) whom they practically impale.

Thankfully unharmed after a trip to the park,
-Mr. Science

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