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Apr 30 / Mr. Science

Testicle Trivia with Mr. Science

Whatever you like to call them–testicles, nuts, balls, jewels or nads–these reproductive male organs are sometimes the cause of great discomfort. Consider these testicular examples:

1. Being hit in the nuts by a soccer ball–or perhaps a stray foot. (Like the goalkeeper who had one of his testicles ripped via another player’s cleat!)

2. Getting “blue balls” from extended sexual arousal. (Yes, this can cause a dull ache. And no, the balls do not actually turn blue.)

3. Agonizingly trying to think up some interesting testicle trivia questions for my book and website.

So after struggling with #3 all day, I turned to my highly paid Writer’s Coach (a library book) to find my solution. Thankfully, Jack (also an Oregonian) came through for me just like he always does. My new plan was to come up with a rough outline BEFORE I sat down at my computer. So where the hell does a person think up semi-solid ideas for testicle trivia anyway? The bath, that’s where.

The tub was the perfect spot. Not only did it put me in close proximity to my testicles (for close consultation), but it also removed me from surfing the internet for silly testicle factoids. The bath also gave me time to think. According to Coach Jack, thinking is imperative. Good advice, Jack.

So now you’re probably wondering if I had a “Eureka moment” hot-tubbing with my testicles. In fact, I most certainly did. I, however, unlike Archimedes did not run naked through the city streets shouting “Eureka, I’ve found it, Eureka, I’ve found it.” (If I had done that, an overly polite Oregonian would have undoubtedly asked me what I had found…only to have me sputter incoherently about some nutty festival.)

Testicle Festivals:
1. Which locale hosts the oldest Testicle Festival? (Where they celebrate by EATING testicles.)

2. Rocky Mountain oysters are the cooked testicles of which animal?

3. How are Rocky Mountain oysters traditionally cooked?

4. The delicacy of cooked bull or buffalo testicles can also be called what?


“Girls have got balls. They are just a little higher up, that’s all.” –Joan Jett

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