Stupidly Obvious Headlines
Being a science teacher, I read all the science headlines I can. Maybe I’ll learn something fruitful. Then again, it’s far more often that I just want to strangle myself with their stupid obviousness. Or is it their obvious stupidness that bugs me? I can’t decide.
At least the dumb headlines tip me off not to waste my time reading these P.O.S. “articles” and to get back to my marathon scrabble game on Facebook.
Then again, sometimes an article has such an absurdly obvious headline that my scientific curiosity gets the better of me and I’m forced to read it. (Could the article itself be as Bush-league as the headline?)
So, who exactly is writing and publishing such schlop it that triggers my desire to slowly asphyxiate myself? Scarily, these “articles” are from real news sources…not just some sex trivia blog, where stupid headlines are the norm (Botany is Sexy!).
Recent Stupidly Obvious Headlines:
Scientific American: Cell Phones in Hospitals May be Covered with Germs (OMG!)
Newsday: Experts: Cellphones May Cause Cancer (And aliens may land on the moon but we don’t have any hard data to support either of these claims.)
Alaska Dispatch: Global Warming Could Put Ice Road Truckers in Jeopardy (You mean, like, there’s going to be less ice in northern Canada as the world gets warmer? Pishaww, I don’t believe it.)
BBC: More Money Needed for HIV Cure (C’mon, is this really the best the BBC can do?!) (Apparently not, as the BBC editors have since changed the article title to: “New Push Aims to Find Cure for AIDS Virus”.)